Pub golf

As part of my round up of the weekend, as I am reminded different bits of it at different times, here is the order of drinking of the pub golf in Exeter on Saturday... we played some real golf first, some pitch and putt anyway, and I thought I did averagely, but came far and away bottom of everyone who played. Very enjoyable (except for recovering the ball from the river) and I think I will go play some in Folkestone... anyway, the holes, the pars, and a little explanation...

We started off with pre-round drink in the club house (The Ram, a student union bar), with a pint of our own choice, and in our own time. I snuck in a pint of Otter, and a double portion of raosted vegetable arrabiata and chips - isn't student union food GRATE? Then onto the course... trousers to be tucked into socks at ALL TIMES, with an Aftershock penalty for just about anything.

1. Queen Victoria, bloody mary, par 1. Easy start, except for the few who didn't like tomatoes. No actual allergic reactions AFAIK, but some decent retching in the toilets. And this the start of the course!

2. The Locamotive, pint of Taunton traditional cider, par 2 and a water hazard. Again, easy, nearly everyone did a birdie here, downing the pint in one. Bit of a slaughtered lamb vibe in this pub, they were wary of us to start with, so we didn't stay long.

3. The Black Horse, bottle of budweiser, par 1. Shouldn't have tried to bolt this one, but everyone else did. Didn't manage it, thought I was going to burst, and felt unwell all through the next hole.

4. The Black Horse again, pint of Guiness (par 1) water hazard. They let me off the Guiness, went for some IPA instead, cheers chaps. More or less down in one... A water hazard means NO TOILET STOP, so we got moving again fairly sharpish after that. STILL feeling very bad, wasn't sure how I'd cope with the rest of the course after this...

5. Hole in the wall, double rum and coke, par 1, no first names. This is where it started going wrong for most other people, the no first names thing caught a lot of people out. One Aftershock for each time you say someone's first name. TWO for mentioning Belle and Sebastian, that's two names, see? BUT, this bar had pool tables, and was great. This (and seeing everyone else get in a mess) perked me up no end, and I was fine for the rest of the day. Maybe there are restorative effects to the rum? It was a large spicey Captain Morgans I think.

6. The Ship, white wine spritzer, par 1. Pint glass, no ice, CHEERS! Nice old style pub, a bit spit and sawdust if I'm remembering it right. There was urban street foot golf on the way to the next boozer I think, and we got a bit too close to some bizarre Lady Penelope style Bentley.

7. The Well House, bottle of tart fuel, par 1, no swearing... don't think I was penalised here either, went for an apple and mango Reef, mmm... tastes like the powdered fruit drink we used to have at school.

8. The Walkabout, pint of bitter, par 1... what a place to have a pint, the only pub we went in with no proper beers! Pretty nasty town centre fun pub, I think some of the party weren't allowed in. There were some big fat cigars too, which I suffered for the next day.

9. Three Fat Fish, Cheeky Vimto, par 1... there was much dancing by this stage, only from me though possibly, it was all a bit northern soul. The best man was in a bit of a bad way and was carried home, but I and the other survivors went on to late night dancing and further drinking at Exeter Uni's Lemon Grove venue hall thing. It was rubbish, not that I've been there before, but the message is You Can Never Go Back.

Anyway, great weekend. Pub golf is recommended, maybe adapt the rules to suit your party (we had no bonusses for a hole in one, every hole was a par one) and knock yourself out.

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